Safest Foods To Eat While Driving
Updated: May 27
Let's face it—driving and eating is totally frowned upon. The distraction puts other drivers, passengers, and pedestrians at risk of injuries and dangerous car crashes. Grease seepage can be incredibly fatal even for the most experienced one-handed drivers. ... Eating while driving is not worth endangering yourself or others. However, we’ve all done it! We might as well rule out the safest culprit selections. Follow along with me as we detail the top ten safest foods to eat while driving. At the forefront, we have the safest to most risk potential. So let’s leave those mentioned later to the ultimate last resort.
#1 Let’s start with the glorious bar of ooey goodness. Yes, I’m talking about snickers. It’s neat, it’s cheap, it’s SUPER sweet. Potential risk: low. Pro tip: keep the wrapper on unless you plan on sucking chocolate out from under your nails for the next three hours minimum.
#2 Next up we have the Belgians or the French or you know what--- who cares but someone is definitely responsible for the glorious golden sticks we call fries! Not only are they delicious, but you can simultaneously shove your face with said glory and drive. Potential risk: low. Pro Tip: be sure to keep those napkins at the bottom of the bag handy because you will be greasy and I highly doubt you plan on lubing your car.
#3 Let’s face it we’ve all replaced a meal with what should be a snack. The best snack for the road hands down is Doritos! All my skipped meals due to obsessive snacking has rendered me an expert of the one hand Dorito chow down. Potential risk: low. Pro Tip: the cheese build-up is a dead giveaway of the Dorito chow down; deny, deny, deny!
#4 Okay, so our next culprit starts veering off into the riskier side, so please proceed with much caution. Our culprit is a big juicy burger, which can also be seen as America’s unseen menace. The craft of perfectly planning your next bite determines whether or not you are wearing burger juice or eating it. Potential risk: medium to menace! Pro tip: hold the tomato, juice tends to be unpredictable.
#5 Now I know you’ve eaten an entire box of pizza and shamefully hid the box under your bed. NO, I’m certainly not speaking from experience; I just know these things. Anywho now you can do so in your car and discard the evidence before anyone sees you enter your home! I do ask you to proceed with caution. The triangular piece from the gods tends to collapse due to poor fold placement. Potential risk: medium to might have to pay for detailing. Pro tip: fold the slice right down the middle.
#6 I think it’s about that time to bring in some sweets. America runs on doughnuts! Bless those circular cakehole treats that are perfect for you to drive and eat! Now we mentioned this rather later for a number of reasons, but what I want you to know has nothing to do with risk while driving and everything to do with self-control. No, you cannot eat a whole box of doughnuts. Steer clear of not being able to get out of the car the same way you got in. Potential risk: low for distractions high for calories. Pro tip: stop at one.
#7 Well, you can’t even think of sweets without a delicious rolled up cannoli. Perfectly rolled up and compacted for added perfection. Now once again, let’s steer clear of the crazy amount of calories. We want you to be able to get out of the car the same way you came in. Potential risk: low except it's so delicious you may not be able to eat just one. Pro tip: no chocolate chips we can’t have those flying everywhere during your trip.
#8 We’ve kept this pretty close to the end for a valid reason. Eating this quickly to defeat drippage can lead to brain freeze, causing a variety of car pile-ups. Yes, you’ve guessed it. I’m talking about that ice cream cone we all crave when we hear the children laughing and running towards that god awful jingle. Potential risk: high. Pro tip: if you must do it, grip it up with some napkins, please.
#9 Proceed with extreme caution on our next culprit. I would steer clear if a shower afterward is completely out of the question. This one is sticky, this one is sweet, and our plump buddies are surely NOT petite. Fresh Fruit is our culprit folks and we advise you to proceed with extreme caution. Potential risk: high case of the stickies. Pro Tip: Stay away from oranges, too much labor.
#10 Last but certainly not least, we have the all-time favorite enjoyed by every generation alike. Yes, we are into nuggets y’all. Perfect for the simultaneous consumption of crispy balls of awesomeness terrible when they are all gone, and the road rage is fully activated. Potential risk: high. Pro tip: ditch the dipping sauce.